Not everything people do has to have a point, backed by meticulous reasoning. People don’t need to streamline and configure every moment for maximum effectiveness and impact. Sometimes, it’s important to remember that simply playing is a good thing for no other reason than the fact that playing is fun. Dr. Venus Nicolino fears many of us have lost touch with this idea, partly because we’ve become so rigid in how we manage our lives.
The Los Angeles-based author uses pickup basketball as an example of what many people could use: a dose of family fun just for the sake of fun. She points out that in pickup basketball, the players are living in the moment rather than worrying about whatever responsibility is next in line.
Pickup basketball happens “when a bunch of dudes (for the most part) just show up on the court on a random Sunday morning and start playing basketball with each other,” Dr. Venus Nicolino said in a video posted on her TikTok channel. “No league, no refs, no planning whatsoever. And sometimes, not even a net is present, just the rim. It’s just random dudes playing basketball with absolutely no agenda, no trophies, not even being sticklers for the rules. Chaos doesn’t break out. I know, crazy, right?”
With pickup basketball, “They just play, and it appears that ‘playing’ is the main thing. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve seen these games and they do get competitive,” said Dr. Venus Nicolino. “But again, just simply playing is the main event. And it made me think that perhaps pickup basketball is America’s new hope.”
Dr. Venus Nicolino Believes We’ve Become a Bit Too Uptight
Just like students on a schoolyard playground, adults who engage in play get the benefit of simply focusing on something enjoyable. Play can foster creativity, strengthen social bonds, and enhance mental health. Play also builds communities and social bonds by creating places where people connect. In other words, play is a great way to get to know your neighbors.
Dr. Venus Nicolino said play also can help bridge some of the divides that have happened in recent years, including those involving politics.
“Relationships seem to be going extinct while societal issues keep multiplying,” she said. “Is it because we’ve all become too uptight, too structured to enjoy playing with each other? Studies show that playing can reduce stress hormones and help with problem solving. But we pack our Google calendars so full that play got squeezed out a long time ago.”
Dr. Venus Nicolino noted that people who play games like pickup basketball don’t worry about whether they like the other person, agree on politics or have similar backgrounds.
“With pickup basketball, guys who don’t even know each other’s name find a way to get along. As a matter of fact, they find it easy to get along,” she said. “Different color skin and collars, different languages, and no one ever dunks on someone and mentions politics in their trash-talking.”
Dr. Venus Nicolino added that people playing pickup basketball don’t really care “what the man guarding them does for a living or who he votes for. They’re never worried about being on the same team with a red-stater or a blue-stater — it’s shirts and skins on the court.”
The Importance of Play for Adults
More serious-minded people might think of play as frivolous for anyone over the age of 12. Studies show that is not the case. A roundup of research on the issue by Psych Central found that playing just for the sake of play provides a host of benefits.
Physically, play encourages movement and exercise. Activities such as sports or dancing increase heart rate, improve coordination, and boost overall fitness. Mentally, play stimulates the brain, enhancing cognitive functions like memory, attention, and problem-solving abilities. Emotionally, it provides an outlet for expression and promotes happiness and contentment.
Reducing stress is another major benefit of play. When people spend time doing things they enjoy, it has a relaxing effect that counteracts stress. One study found that playful adults also reported having developed healthier coping styles like acceptance and positive reframing.
They also develop a better understanding of the kind of play they like. Basketball isn’t for everyone, of course, but there are plenty of ways to play. Some become a collector of something they value. Others become creators who find an outlet in writing, visual art, music or some other form of expression. Others have fun by attending more live music shows, theater performances, sporting events, and museum exhibits.
Don’t Let Perfect Become the Enemy of Good
Dr. Venus Nicolino points out that people sometimes avoid opportunities to play because they bring the same level of management to enjoying themselves as they do to their work. They want everything to go perfectly or want to become experts in whatever play they decide to participate in.
That, she notes, is defeating the purpose. “We think we have to take a course on how to be experts before we take on a new sport or hobby,” Dr. Venus Nicolino said. “We could just show up, be really bad at it and have fun regardless.”
There are plenty of practical ways to get play into daily life. For example, people can become active in community organizations and plan regular events like sports tournaments, dance classes, or art workshops. People also make more use of parks and other common spaces for activities like yoga.
Even on busy days, it’s possible to take a few moments to engage in playful or relaxing activities. People can play a quick game on their phone or laptop, solve a crossword puzzle, or watch a funny video. Like exercise, something is better than nothing when it comes to play.
Dr. Venus Nicolino says pickup basketball is a great example, even if basketball is not your thing. “Unstructured, but not chaotic. Randomly fun and enjoyable. And maybe the biggest thing is, these guys don’t go to dinner together after all the games end,” she said. “They just leave when they’re ready — some in the middle of the game, if they feel like it. They play, enjoy, and move on, then return for next weekend.”
Sometimes known simply as “Dr. V,” Dr. Venus Nicolino holds a master’s in counseling psychology and a master’s and Ph.D. in clinical psychology. People can hear her advice on a wide range of topics on her popular TikTok channel and on Instagram. She also hosts “The Tea With Dr. V” podcast, and is the author of Bad Advice: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bulls–t.
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